stupido con amore.

I find myself feeling more stupid with love than actually in love. I question how I got into some situations that I've gotten tangled in emotionally. I wonder where my head is at when I get involved in certain situations. to date, I've only been in one relationship that I would consider serious. it's one of few emotional engagements that I don't regret. maybe regret isn't the correct word, but it's close enough. maybe it's me. maybe I am too "complex and complicated" as some like to put it. personally, I don't think so. I ask for very little. I just need someone who is willing to work with me and not constantly working to change what I enjoy doing or blame me for any and everything that doesn't go as planned. I mean, being involved with someone isn't about trying to alter what you consider flaws to make them more appealing. or always playing the victim without even thinking about proposing a compromise that would benefit you both. at least that's not what it is in my mind. It's all rather confusing. and with age it only seems to get more confusing because more things start to come into the picture. right now, I'm just observing. staying close so that if I want to get back in the mix, I can. but far away enough so that I'm not sucked into it unwillingly.